A note to Amma

A note to my Mother 

Dear Amma,

Every time you kept reminding us of how you bore silently the stigma of being a Gen X home maker, I turned a deaf ear. I was stupid to assume it as your weakness. But, I realise it shaped you into this resilient soul known for never ending love, care, compassion and many other traits that makes you a bold woman. Like a Goddess taking avatars, your metamorphosis of character across each phase/situation in life is godly & its depth unfathomable.

I saw you grow in strength from your "pains". 

You took the pain of quitting your ambitions & moved to a small town marrying Appa, who you always said had little or no time for family being busy at work. Yet you showed the grit to move on & taught us to always live in love, peace & gratitude.  

You took the pain to give birth to two children and raised them all alone. Yet you showered utmost care & compassion through hardships, praying selflessly for our well being. 

You took the pain to let go of your kids to find their ways in the harsh world inspite of your ailing. Yet you never made us feel your absence making it a point to speak to us before we went to bed, prepping us to face a new day in life with confidence. 

You took the pain we gave you in a thoughtless moment over a loud tone or anger not realising you still saw your "kids" in us. Yet you stood by us like a rock & guiding us like a beacon in our testing times.

You took the pain of illness upon yourself without bothering to care for self. Yet, treatment after treatment, you rose like a phoenix to come back to us with renewed vigour to support us & serve many who came visiting home, never letting them leave in thirst or hunger.

If we are half of anything you expected us to become, it is because you chose the "pain" over a selfish moment. 

Today, looking at all what you have been through, I wish you never took the "pain" ! 

I know you are STILL watching over us & pray for our well being.

Wherever you are... 

We all love you...